This time it’s like going to spanking school. Apparently, the universe didn’t think I knew how to learn my lesson the first time. I’m not sure I did either, but I feel the repeated barrage of spankings in the last couple of weeks is excessive at best. I didn’t think I’d been that naughty. Here’s an example of just how off-my-game I am. I’m on my way to work the other night. I’m having a friend drive me in his truck because my awesome van is a gas guzzler (1), and the power steering is going out on it (2). The gig is in Idylwild. It’s about an hour and a half from my friend’s house, where after my arriving there, had to transfer my drums, the hardware, my JIC (just in case) sack and all the accouterments that come with me on every and any gig. So now we’re on our way.  I couldn’t find my mascara after doing most of my makeup before we left and even asked a neighbor friend if she had any I could use. She did not. So we’re well on our way now and after another search, through every bag and purse I had with me, I couldn’t find it. So I make the announcement that we may have to stop at a beauty supply or a Walgreens so I can get some. I knew I only had a few dollars to my name and that mascara costs about $10 bucks and I was stressing on the inevitability of working that hassle out, especially with only guys in the car. ( My boyfriend Danny- the bass player on the gig that night) and my friend Robert who was driving, but I really had no other choice- mascara is the one thing a made-up face can’t go without. It completes a look. I need it. So I say it and begin looking up the nearest place to buy some. We stop at a shopping center and find the Sally’s I was looking for. We are pressed for time so it’s not a fun browsing-while-shopping kind of visit. I ask the clerk if they have any mascara-knowing that they don’t carry my usual brand and that what they do have is overpriced- or full retail. So I go to the aisle and find one never heard of brand selling this blackish brown liquid you apply with a comb-type brush and grab it. At the counter, I start pulling out all the change and money I have because I know it’s gonna be at least $10 bucks. I’ve got like 6 something. I leave my purse and stuff at the counter and jet outside to scrounge up some more change from the bottom of my train case and from the guys if they have any. I got what I had and what change they had on them and went back in. My stress increasing with every moment because I can’t be late. I count it out again, I’m at 7, now 8. Mind you, 3 of the dollars are in dimes, two dollar bills, 2 in quarters, and I have her give me the total WITH the tax. It’s 9.69. I’m at 8. Back out again to borrow 2 dollars. Nobody’s got it. I find another 75 cents in something and now I’m counting it out and handing it over for payment to the clerk. I’m still short. She goes in the back of the store to look in her purse for me (sweet) and I run out to tell the guys what’s up and look for pennies on the round or in the car or something. I get back in the store she says she found 50 cents in her stuff and she’s donating it to my cause. Finally…I walk out of the store with my mascara in a little bag and run to the car, get in and we’re off! I’m lighter, happier, assured that my face won’t look weird now without any lashes and we’re back on the road. I grab the bag because it’s time to finish what I started, reach in, pull it out, and had this feeling as I begin to read the labe…………NO!!!!!!!!!!    It’s  P R I M E R. Lash Primer. It’s this white creamy like substance you put on your lashes before you put the mascara on. So, my perils aren’t over yet. It’s beyond ironic, beyond bad luck, beyond stupidity, beyond embarrassment. And I still need some lashes. That’s the kind of luck I’ve had lately. The next night my Van was towed. I have since lost it forever now. (Another time).  I solved, sort of solved the problem that night by taking my eyeliner and turning up the stick pencil and rubbing the primer-ed comb back and forth over the eyeliner turning the wand black and putting that goop on my eyes. It was nowhere right, but it at least gave me some semblance of a normal face. So that is the cycle I’m suffering in right now and it feels like I’m going in circles with it. I hope it ends Q U I C K L Y.       Feel sorry for me for a minute? Thank you.